For the Indecisives Out There

Hello friends (well really all 2 of you). It’s been awhile, partly because I didn’t like anything in my head enough to put it out there (if I see one more thing about how the 90s are back! And emerald is the IT pantone color of the year, I may quit the Internets). Also, I started a new jobby job so I had to shop for depressing polyester to start dressing ‘business casual’ which apparently in my office runs the gamut of jeans you would wear to Sam’s Club to a crisp suit. I’m confused by it, but I’m sure you are too.

Back to the important stuff. As spring slowly creeps into the foreseeable future and you get a little bit of weeee in your step when you feel it in the air, I like all normal people, think about what I want to wear and most importantly who I’m trying to be, because it’s never myself, you know.

I am always trying to channel someone else. The look changes quite a bit depending on the season, but the people more or less stay the same regardless of what the trendy girls downtown are wearing. Am I alone in this? Let’s break it down.

WINTER (right now because yes it’s “Spring” but it’s still 30 degrees out and snowing again next week. Who is down with killing that rodent who gave us false promises back in February? Just me and Bill Murray? Well fine.):

I am all about being pale, minimal mascara (it’s hard because I have as much of a penchant for Tammy Faye lashes as I do for parentheses), and blush to make me look like I have cheek bones. Think androgynous makeup and slightly punky clothes-

Dark hair, paled out skin. You get it. No sparkle people!

Elizabeth Olsen looking a little edgy with some nice matte makeup

No mascara and some bad ass cheek bones

K Stew looking a little punk cool

Saorise Ronan. Love the lip and matte dark eye with messy hair. Was anyone else completely obsessed with Hanna?

SPRING:

This is just EVERYTHING

For Spring I gravitate towards somewhat of the same thing. My face is too dry and pale to take those bright colors until at least mid May, so I go for good matte skin and a nice matte eyeliner beauty wise. In clothes, I like happy little blazers and snappy trousers that are still slightly adrogeny. The  goal here is looking like you didn’t try AT ALL. Even if you did pour over images on Svpply and Pinterest for hours creating the outfit, no one has to know. Think Olsen, Gwyneth, Clemence, and KStew. Make fun of me about the Olsens but I’ve been saving images of their clothes since I can remember and if you look back 10 years ago those two still don’t look dated, I swear.

Layers, layers layers and boots. Perfect for Spring weather!

Relaxed and a great way to transition from Winter to Spring.

I think Gwen owns this look too, baggy blazer and pants.

Yes, Gwenie

The Olsens. A little bit rumpled

The Olsens. Love the trousers and the blouse/skirt combo

Oh Ashley, love it.

vest, button up. love

I’ve been trying to copy this for way too long.

Kristen rocking it

I’m obsessed with this look

So good, no?

Oh Kristen

Sassy

Even Kiki Dunst does a colorful trouser/blazer combo flawlessly

So you get the clothes, but what beauty products do I use to attempt to change myself into an impossibly chic French girl named Clemence or a multi millionaire with a stylist a la Olsen, KStew, and Gwen? Well…

MAC Blush in Harmony – It’s a blush, no a bronzer. Whatever it’s matte and the perfect I’m really pale and I don’t like wearing pink blush and looking like a preteen. Plus it looks good on everyone, you can contour or use it on your cheeks!

Revlon Matte Lipstick in 001 Nude Attitude – Clemance Poesy had this on in her Vogue spread. Also, it’s a great nude and kind of makes you look like a bad ass.

MAC Paint Pot in Ground Work – My eye lids are so fing dry they won’t even accept eye shadow in the winter so this is the only thing I use. It makes you look effortless too, which really we all want that. “Lalala look at me I don’t even look in the mirror and I feel like a chic French girl.”

ORIBE Dry Texturizing Spray – I abuse this like no other. It smells like how I imagine all of Rio smells and make your hair piecey (and if you abuse it like moi, it also makes it look white which makes you think your hair is graying at rapid pace in the fluorescents of your office bathroom).

Lastly, Guerlain Terracotta Loose Powder Kohl Liner. You can use it in your water line, make a cat eye out of it or even use it as shadow. Genius!

Who are you channeling this frigid Spring? Do you like trousers? Did your Grandma use the word britches to talk about trousers?

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