You’re Doing It Wrong: Facebook Edition, Part One

Lauren and I were chatting about Facebook the other day. Specifically, how much we hate it. Well, I suppose that is a bit unfair to Facebook itself. It’s not Facebook we hate, just many of the people that use it. Yes, we could just simply just “unsubscribe” from certain people’s posts or defriend them, but it’s not just a few people that make us want to scream like a banshee and throw our laptops across the room in frustration. It’s too many people.

Me, checking Facebook

I was but a young, naive freshman in college when The Facebook first came out. It was all the rage in my dorm and around campus. It was not uncommon to have someone you barely remember talking to in class or at the bar send you a friend request the next day. Back in Facebook’s infancy, it was all about just connecting with friends near and far.

THE Facebook, never forget

My, my how much has changed in 8 years. It has spiraled into a tool to connect into a platform for ignorant and ill-informed rants, extreme narcissim, and over sharing. I’m not even mentioning all of the awful games that people play (Farmville and all of the games it spawned), or the ads or “liking” shit and so on.

Let’s kick off the multi-post series I’m calling You’re Doing It Wrong: Facebook Edition.

Inviting people to important gatherings via Facebook.

I have been invited to baby showers*, wedding showers*, bachelorette parties*, and even a wedding** through Facebook. Each time, I stare blankly at a screen and say to myself “OH COME ON.” Now, I can see the other side of this equation in that it makes it easier to contact people and track RSVPs, but call me a crumudeon, a snob, whatever you like, but some things warrant a more official invitation. We’re talking Life Events, not a casual pregame before going out.

I’ve planned baby showers and bachelorette parties. It’s not that hard to track down the names and addresses of those you intend to invite. Ask for addresses over Facebook if your guest of honor doesn’t have them. They will eventually need them for thank you notes, so you could do them a solid by getting that together for them. From there, getting answers out of the asshats that are invited is a fucking chore. (And yes, I have been one of these asshats that gets the invitation and then finds it a week before the event, but I still respond! With an apology!) I know this makes planning baby shower or bachelorette party sound awful, but it is. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. You do it because you love the people the party is for, and love makes us do strange, strange things– like buying penis shaped pasta or melting candy bars into diapers. I’m getting off topic though…

If you’re not into old-fashioned mail, Paperless Post is a tasteful, online option. This is definitely the way I would go for these types of occasions (baby/bridal showers & bachelorette parties). That is, if it’s ok with bride and/or mother to be. Wedding invitations, however, are strictly through the mail (unless you’re Jessa).

Stay tuned. I’ve got a crap ton of peeves to pet about the awful habits of Facebook users…

* I will leave out my feelings on the numerous parties I am forced to attend when a friend or relative is getting hitched and/or with child. That topic could be a small part of a much larger series. Plus, I’m doing enough bitching already.

** I feel like the girl who sent wedding invitations through Facebook was using it as a ploy to get more people to her wedding for a couple of reasons: 1. receiving a ton of presents and 2. to show off to all of her guests, “Look how popular I am!” I would add a third reason: she was, and is, Tacky and Trashy.

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